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Less conflict

Much of the niggling conflict that we encounter day in, day out, is of our own making: it is in our minds. What if we could tone it down a bit? Here is my New Year’s wish

Koen Smets
7 min readJan 1, 2021

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We are all different — no two people are the same. Even “identical” twins are not actually genetically identical. That is a good thing from an evolutionary perspective, as a diverse species can better adapt to changes in the environment. It is also beneficial for us humans at a societal level: people with different skills and abilities can complement each other in effective collaboration, for example.

But we have a tendency to accentuate differences, and divide the world on that basis: me and others, us and them. Such differences can influence and even dominate our relationships. And they can be at the root of conflicts great and small: we easily perceive and cultivate conflict with people whom we consider on the opposite side of a divide.

Yet such conflicts are, by and large, in our minds. Might that give us the power to attenuate and nuance, perhaps even to eliminate them? Let us consider three typical kinds of conflicts.

Different preferences

Much like our DNA, our collection of preferences (many of which are conditional…

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Koen Smets
Koen Smets

Written by Koen Smets

Accidental behavioural economist in search of wisdom using insights from (behavioural) economics in organization development. On Twitter/Bluesky as @koenfucius

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