Narrow view through a tunnel
(featured image: Zak/Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

There is more

We cannot possibly be aware of everything, but sometimes acting as if what we see is all there is can be embarrassing — or worse.

Koen Smets
7 min readApr 16, 2021

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A long time ago, when my hair was long and not so grey — well it is pretty long again, the barbers have only just reopened after the latest lockdown — a friend of mine had come up with a new, jocular greeting. We were deeply into jocular phrases at the time. They combined attempts at sophisticated wit with our own private slang. The kind of thing you do as a teenager.

Anyway, my friend’s new greeting, instead of a more conventional variant on “how are you?”, was “how’s your mum?” Slightly absurd, slightly mysterious even — but he thought, and we all thought, that it was hilarious. He used it with actual friends, and indeed with perfect strangers, whose perplexed reactions just added to the fun.

Until, one day, the mother of the person he greeted had actually died a few weeks earlier.

Limited visual range

When you’re 16, 17 years old, your mum is not supposed to die. None of our sizeable circle of friends had experienced this unfortunate event, and so none of us had considered that possibility. Understandably the mood turned, cheeks became red, and that was the last time that particular…

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Koen Smets
Koen Smets

Written by Koen Smets

Accidental behavioural economist in search of wisdom using insights from (behavioural) economics in organization development. On Twitter/Bluesky as @koenfucius

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